A Half Bagel Sandwich

Slice half of a huge poppyseed bagel in two. Toast the halves lightly. On one side, spread Branston pickles and arrange an extra-thin slice of excellent ham.

On the other side, spread a generous amount of ricotella. Sprinkle with salt, pepper, and the swarm of poppyseeds that have fallen at the bottom of the paper bag the bagel came in - never let a good thing go to waste.

Close the sandwich, wrap it tightly. Decide not to wipe the counter right away. Aren't those poppyseeds pretty?

Bring the sandwich to the office, and take it out during a lunchtime meeting. Enjoy your really really tasty concoction, under your coworkers' green gaze, as they themselves munch on a mayo laden, processed chicken, cardboard bread sandwich.