[Chicago Bear]

Knifethrower, you asked what brew I use for medicinal purposes. Since you're from Montana, you know that the preferred cold remedy is Moose Drool from Big Sky Brewing Company, though my wife prefers Scapegoat IPA. A big beer with a high alcohol content is recommended by 9 out of 12 doctors. Here in Chicago, Goose Island Brewery makes a Bourbon County Stout that is the consistency of cough syrup, but it is only a seasonal release and not always available when flu-like symptoms are present. Two reliable microbreweries with distribution in the Chicago area are Bells from Kalamazoo Michigan, and Pyramid Brewery from Seattle. I've heard that Great Divide Brewing Company from Colorado has some very high alcohol content medicines that are presently out of stock, but a shipment from the high plains is due this week. I didn't ask whether Great Divide distributes in Billings, but you can go on their website at www.greatdivide.com to check. Don't delay; the next bout of flu in Montana is expected to arrive no later than Wednesday evening!
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The goal is to fit it all in.

[Knifethrower]

I can't believe I made it out alive.

Monday, like the silly girl that I am, I dragged my carcass to work. I scrubbed in, white as a ghost and wishing the patient would move over on the OR table so I could have a good nap under anesthesia. I crawled home at noon, trying to give birth to a lung and a couple of ribs.

I stayed home yesterday, totally smacked out on codeine and chocolate, trying to give my poor wracked body a chance to unwind. It worked. I survived all day today, did near-olympic feats at the OR table, and felt almost like myself again.

I thank each and every one of you who suggested remedies that I could, and did get my hands on for this entire two weeks of agony. I did, however re-discover something that combined the best of all the remedies together- a Brooklyn Brewery Chocolate Stout that has so much alcohol, it doubles as elephant tranquilizer. Thank heaven flu season and Chocolate Stout season run together!

Now, just to make TOTALLY SURE, I am on the mend, I think its time to break out some Valrohna red stripe... and a glass of Port...

Cheers, everyone!

-Knifethrower
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There is only one way to die- With a full stomach and a good tan.

[Erin]

Mmmm......Brooklyn Brewery Chocolate Stout.....mmm!
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"It's watery....and yet there's a smack of ham."

"It's hot ham water."

[Griffin]

CB,

Moose Drool??!! That's as bad as the English Cheese called Stinking Bishop! ... or the beer called Crippled Cock!! I dread to think of some of the names for beers here I just haven't come across yet!

Knifethrower,

Glad to know you are still alive and haven't given birth to either lungs or ribs!! Keep taking the Chocolate Stout... tell them it's a prescription from Doctor Griffin!! It's a long shot, but it just might work!
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Confusion comes fitted as standard.