Joined: 08 Dec 2005 Posts: 224 Location: kingston, ny
Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:37 pm Post subject:
Oh dear, now it's time to admit that I'm one of the forum babies.
Ten years ago I was 11. I had just finished my first year in a brand new school system and was probably grumbling about having to go to recreation camp in the mornings. 9AM in the summer?! What was my mother thinking?! I had just chopped off my verrry long hair and made my mom cry in the process. Because, you know, everyone else was doing it. (Why does that always sound like a good reason?)
Now, I'm 21 and my hair is even shorter. I've traveled to Europe and lived in the UK. Sacrificing my senior year of high school got me out of college a year early (yay). I have amazing friends with backgrounds completely different from mine and whom I never would have known if not by odd strokes of fate. Trick for the next ten years: figure out how to get my dad to overcome his separation anxiety.
Trick for the next ten years: figure out how to get my dad to overcome his separation anxiety.
Woodstocker, it's never going to happen. You have to remember, he watched you grow up and now you're all big and living your own life, BUT you're still his beloved daughter and his privilege is to worry constantly that you're ok. It's in the unwritten parent contract after the clause that doesn't read, 'In all fairness, I will do all I can to embarrass my children as they have over the years.'
Well, if we're going back beyond ten years... sigh!
Twenty years ago, I was unemployed (again!) and still in the process of working out what to do with my life. Two years later I'd decided to become a curator and was doing my first degree in Art History with Literary Studies from which I gained a 2:1, much to my surprise.
Thirty years ago, in 1977 it was the Queen's Silver Jubilee year and there were street parties in which I took part locally. It was also the year I became dimly aware of punk rock, which I later fell for!
Forty years ago, I was four years old and had blue lips and fingertips due to being carelessly born with a hole in the heart (I knew there was something I'd forgotten!) and was heading towards playgroup, the beginning of an indifferent school career. Also, it was the year my younger brother was born. _________________ Confusion comes fitted as standard.
Joined: 08 Dec 2005 Posts: 224 Location: kingston, ny
Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 9:51 pm Post subject:
Quote:
Woodstocker, it's never going to happen. You have to remember, he watched you grow up and now you're all big and living your own life
But Griffin, I live at home still, he sees me every single day (which is fine, and for financial purposes necessary). The annoying bit comes when he decides that he is going to move to the area where my brother currently goes to college and where I will hopefully be going to grad school. Even though its only a 45 min drive up the interstate. Both my brother and I, as well as our stepmother, are strongly opposed to this idea.
On a totally unrelated note, I decided last night that Griffin reminds me of my cousin. Only he adores philosophy and punk, not Will and punk! Both of you have the same quirky personality and love of words. _________________ Clearly it is not the lovelorn sufferer who seeks solace in chocolate, but rather the chocolate-deprived individual, who, desperate, seeks in mere love a pale approximation of bittersweet euphoria. Sandra Boynton.
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 Posts: 154 Location: North of Auckland, New Zealand
Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:06 am Post subject:
woodstocker - this is where I acknowledge I'm one of the forum babies too
It's fascinating reading everyone's posts...I'm loving it
Ten years ago...My gorgeous little sister had just been born, and My brother and I were getting used to having a baby around. All my friends were exceedingly jealous of my lil sis. I was half way through my first year at college (or High School for those in other parts of the world), and was about to embark on my first ever trip on an aeroplane to see my step dad's family in Oz.
Since then...I've been to New Caledonia, Mauritius and Oz again. I've completed a Degree in Geography and Anthroplogy/Archaeology (after changing my mind on my majors three times). I've moved out of home, only to move back in this year. All my friends have moved overseas, and I'm currently saving and organising paperwork/paraphernalia to travel to France with my boyfriend of almost seven years...ooo and I'm taking french lessons. Just feeling a little guilty about leaving my little sister behind and not being there for her.
I am also stuck at home with my dad, who alternately amuses and infuriates me - but that's what he's for. For me it's also a matter of finance... or lack of it!
I also am fascinated by philosophy - as well as Will and punk... in fact, little do you know, your cousin and I... are one and the same! You notice that he and I are never in the same room at the same time? Well now you know why!!
If there's three of you opposed to moving, have you thought of pouncing on dad, tying him up and throwing him in the cellar (having of course, first secured all the wine)? Or telling him that's what you WILL do if he decides to move. Alternatively you could agree to him moving and wave him goodbye while the rest of you stay where you are... Fiend, moi?!
Gisele,
If she's only a little sister, why not pack her into a spare suitcase and take her with you?! _________________ Confusion comes fitted as standard.
Joined: 08 Dec 2005 Posts: 224 Location: kingston, ny
Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:11 pm Post subject:
Griffin you really do fit right into my family!! We've already told my dad a long time ago that we'll wave to him as he moves everything! As for the cellar- we live in an apartment (flat) complex, but I suppose the storage locker downstairs would work. Dark and just a little creepy. I won't wish my cousin's somewhat ill fortune on you though. A few weeks ago he was mugged in Brooklyn and all of his things (including his paycheck) were stolen. And when he was writing his senior thesis in college, his laptop was stolen with his half finished paper on the drive!
Gisele- good luck on packing your lil sis away. My lil bro is 6 ft 2in so he's kinda hard to stuff in one suitcase. Besides, there is a weight limit on such things. On a more serious note, my brother's best friend has a younger brother (quite a bit younger) and for financial reasons had to go to the local community college for the first 2 yrs. Living at home and seeing his lil bro grow up was a great thing for them. Everyone agrees that they grew much closer during that time b/c the lil bro went from being a "kid" to being a "guy."
On a completely unrelated note- does anyone around here know what the pound/kilo conversion is for a "stone" of weight? This has bothered me for ever. Well, at least a year. _________________ Clearly it is not the lovelorn sufferer who seeks solace in chocolate, but rather the chocolate-deprived individual, who, desperate, seeks in mere love a pale approximation of bittersweet euphoria. Sandra Boynton.
Joined: 08 Dec 2005 Posts: 224 Location: kingston, ny
Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 10:15 pm Post subject:
Thank you georgia! _________________ Clearly it is not the lovelorn sufferer who seeks solace in chocolate, but rather the chocolate-deprived individual, who, desperate, seeks in mere love a pale approximation of bittersweet euphoria. Sandra Boynton.
Joined: 16 May 2006 Posts: 456 Location: california
Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 1:04 am Post subject:
Most welcome.
Just remember, if someone says you look as though you've lost a stone: good thing. If that person says your honey cake weighs a stone: bad thing. (That image comes to mind only because a relative-who-shall-remain-nameless once brought just that sort of honey cake to our house!)
Joined: 09 Apr 2005 Posts: 85 Location: Berkeley, CA
Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:01 am Post subject:
Apparently I'm on the Rachel end of the spectrum, and yes, the years before 30 are definitely eventful.
Ten years ago I had just turned 16 and was, though I didn't have a clue at the time, just a few months away from deciding to abandon my senior year of high school in favor of going to college a year early. It was one of the best decisions I ever made, a big step on the path toward being comfortable in my own skin. I went from being a nerd who holed up in her room and read all the time to a nerd who skis, rock climbs, bikes, and brings yummy baked goodies in to lab periodically. I'm excited/alarmed to say that within six months I'll probably have a Ph.D. in bioengineering, and I'm almost sure I'll be moving back across the country (started near New York, now near San Francisco) to Boston to be with my boyfriend and my best friend from college.
If you'd asked me ten years ago where I'd be now, I know I wouldn't have said here - but it's a great place to be and I wouldn't have done it differently!
Joined: 22 Oct 2006 Posts: 296 Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:58 pm Post subject:
Well, as an update to my post of a few weeks ago - as of yesterday, I have a PhD in art history! Certainly not quite what I'd envisioned ten years ago (the subject, not the PhD)... but definitely what is right for me now.
Joined: 14 Oct 2005 Posts: 827 Location: Oakland, CA
Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 5:03 pm Post subject:
I would just like to speak in defense of parents experiencing anxiety over the departure of their beloved youngsters. Give us a break! It's a BIG DEAL! Watching one's kids "Individuate' is an ongoing process from the moment they're born. And it has its joys and its sorrows.
My son blithely trotted off to New York one year post-9/11 and has now settled full time in Brooklyn. I am thrilled to see him so happily independent - and I miss him like mad! Logistically, it doesn't make sense to trail after him at this point in time. Even when we retire in a few years, it's probably not going to happen. So we'll continue to support the airlines and buy back carbon credits to offset our transcontinental flights and talk on the phone a lot.
BUT - once he's married and has started a family, I WILL be living on the same coast! We don't want to live next door, or even in the same town. Or maybe not even the same state...but we do want to live less that a day away. I want my grandchildren to know me as more than a voice on the phone.
So - maybe that's what I'll be reporting in the NEXT 10 years!!! _________________ L'appetit vient en mangeant. -Rabelais
Rachel, I wanted to give you a HUGE congrats on the PhD!! That is quite an accomplishment. There is a lot of sacrifice, persistance, and determination that go into such an achievement.
Ten years from now...there is no telling what accomplishments you will be able to share then!
Enjoy this milestone! Many, many congratulations to you.
Joined: 16 May 2006 Posts: 456 Location: california
Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 5:38 pm Post subject:
Another view from the old folks checking in to support Donna's perspective. And I've been on both sides of the fence, as you will see.
I left home for college just after my 17th birthday. None of us could have known then that I'd be married before I turned 19, and that before I turned 21 my husband and I would relocate across country. For years, my parents agonized over the distance between us, even though we managed to be together for a couple of weeks at least twice a year. While I missed them, I was busy and happy and never really understood.
However, when my own daughters went off to college (one at Cal, thank goodness, the other in the midwest), I worried all the time that they'd find work (or love) somewhere far away. Well, they both found love and work in San Francisco, and they both live not far from their parents. My grandchildren are with us several days a week and we are a large part of their lives. I thank my lucky stars every minute of every day that my daughters did not do to me what I (unwittingly) did to my own parents. And I've already told my husband that if they should eventually end up back east somewhere, so will I!
As for my mother and father...they eventually did move to California, less than a half mile from me. But my father was terminally ill, and the move was bittersweet. My mother stayed on after he died, and now she has the opportunity to be near her grown granddaughters and to see her great-grandchildren regularly. It helps to make up for the years when her daughter and grandchildren were far away.
So....as Donna says, cut your father some slack and find a way to make it work. You won't regret it.
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I won't wish my cousin's somewhat ill fortune on you though. A few weeks ago he was mugged in Brooklyn and all of his things (including his paycheck) were stolen. And when he was writing his senior thesis in college, his laptop was stolen with his half finished paper on the drive! 
